Hello again!
I have a question. If you have told somebody about the fact that you SI, how did you tell them? Who did you tell? When did you tell them? How much did it help you? Do you have any advice on who/when/how to tell someone? How does it help?
I ask because telling someone, to me, seems like an incredible impossibility. I suppose part of it is that I am unwilling to admit that I might have a problem. I don’t want people to think I’m just looking for attention or that I’m being dramatic. And I want to make sure opening up helps more than it hurts, because I don’t want to burden anyone.
Any experiences you have, I’d love to hear about. Talking helps me a lot. 🙂 Thanks so much. Please email if you would rather contact me directly: bubblyballet01@yahoo.com.
i opened up to a close teacher of mine not too long ago. it was really scary at first and i didn’t say it myself but after i did feel a lot better. i sora lied at first and said it was a friend but most when you dive into that conversation ask if it is you to make sure you are ok and when i couldn’t say anything and froze it was easy to tell the truth. i don’t think there is a way to go about it personally that wouldn’t be scary the first time but after telling that first time i have told many people. Mainly because i know it will be ok and in some instances because i feel they should know due to how close they are to me. in others because soemthing happened and i slipped it out there. mainly once you say it once the fear disappears however that is only for certain ppl. i still can’t tell my sis and probably won’t for a while. goodluck.
Aelita
Hi. 🙂
I’ve been self-injuring since I was eleven (I’m twenty now), and very, very few people know about it.
It’s always terrifying to tell people that I hurt myself – it used to take me years before I told a person. Now I just feel like, “Hey, this is what I do, I don’t need your help to get through it because I can do it on my own and you’re lucky I’m even telling you to begin with”. I hope that makes sense.
If I were you, I’d only tell people you’re absolutely POSITIVE you can trust. For instance, I told my boyfriend about it before we started dating. I wanted him to know what he was getting himself into if we continued the relationship; to sort of give him a heads-up, a warning. It helped me a lot because I really learned that I could trust him, and possibly other people, with my secret.
If you’re planning on telling somebody, the best way to do it (in my opinion) is to just be straight-forward with it. Sit them down and say “Hey, I have something to tell (or show) you. You’re not going to like it and it’s not going to be pretty but I feel like you should know.” That’s the only way that’s ever worked for me. If you come up with a better way, pleeeease let me know, haha.
People do get scared. People will think you’re suicidal (I don’t know if you are or not; I’m not going to assume anything), people will try to tell you to quit and you will have to explain that it’s not easy, they will not understand and you’ll have to explain a zillion different things, but in the end – most of the time – it’s a load off your shoulders (at least it is for me) to know that it isn’t a secret anymore, to realize someone else at least KNOWS about it. Most of the time, if it’s the right person, they’ll be very caring. They’ll be scared, too, but at least you won’t be alone in that.