Going along with ghtyfkjfk’s post ‘how to ask for what you need’. Man o man is that tough to do sometimes. I’ve been wondering about that also.. “There isn’t a safe referral person in my area.  I need a script.  Would I first ask if they knew of the book?  And then what if I can’t say anything out loud.  Is it OK to call and just ask for their email address to express what I want?  And then do I buy them a copy of the book?  Is it fair to expect them to even read a book for me?” I’ve been with my t for 3 years and she is awesome. She lacks in the self abuse part though. What do I do? Do I just ask her if she has read it and if not would she be willing to? Is it alright to expect her to buy the book? Where do I go with this?