i’ve been alot happier the past few days, and i like the feeling. i still feel alone in crowds and when i go out, but i haven’t fully fledged si’d in like two days. only small si. i’m hoping i can keep it that way. and with going back to school tomorrow, i’m hoping i can keep myself calm. but with exams coming soon, i  don’t know what kind of mental state i’ll be in by the end of the week. my friend, he’s been keeping tabs on me constantly since the other night and has been checking up on me to make sure i’m okay. i’m kind of hoping that maybe that’ll pressure me to stop. hopefully.

its harder to do when i’m in school, because i can’t always wear my sweatshirt to cover my arms. and changing for gym where my scars are everywhere else… it gets tough. i’m hoping i can keep strong enough to let all of them fade and not start again. i’m hoping, but as i’ve learned before, hope can only get you so far…