I know with the new year everyone talks about new beginnings and resolutions. I have never been one having a specific date to start something. However, I feel maybe it wouldn’t hurt to actually set those specific goals this year…even if it is to make that call to finally find a therapist. I have just gotten through the most stressful time at work and the stress always stirs things up for me. The main reason I SI is because I am very critical of myself and can’t stand to make mistakes or to hurt someone else (even if an accident). When I get stressed these feelings increase immensely. The past few months I have expanded my types of SI and it scares me a bit and is definitely interfering with my life. I have started to really obsess about it when all I want is for those thoughts to go away.
I never imagined I would still struggle with SI when I finally “grew up” and became an independent and successful adult. But I realize growing up doesn’t necessarily mean the past is forgotten. It scares me to think that I may struggle with SI forever. So, now with a new year maybe I can actually follow through with the goals I make for myself. I think I just need to get over whatever fear I have of talking to someone again. But I keep telling myself that dealing with the fear for short time has to be better than dealing with the SI for another 10 years.