i haven’t SIed in almost 3 weeks, 3 weeks tomorrow actually. but today… uhgg. i’ll strat from the beginning.

so last night i had a sleepover with my dance team, which i’ve ben a part of for years now, and i love them all so much, but i got zero sleep. so when i got home, i pretty much slept until 8 at night. and when i woke up i just felt like crap, for no reason at all. and i still feel like crap. i’m not going to SI, i refuse to, but i don’t want to feel like this because it will continue into tomorrow which is when i’m celebrating my boyfriend’s birthday with all my friends, and when i’m like this they all get upset and stuff and i hate it, i hate the attention. i don’t know how to feel better. i’m on medication for panic attacks, and i hadent had one in months until friday night, and i just had another one about an hour ago. the winter months are terrible for me and i guess theyre just starting to hit me hard but i just need peace right now.