i seriously thought about totally giving up last night. and i kinda scared the crap out of myself. i was gonna do it, i was about to and then my best friend called. so maybe, there is someone up there who cared. and i actually ended up admitting to my best friend about what i do.

but even after getting so much out, i still want to do it again.

last night, i was thinking of how much easier things would be for the people around me if i was gone. and i couldn’t find any reason to stay. i obviously didn’t go through with it, but now i might give it more serious thought in the future.

oh, and does any one know if those call lines to talk to someone so you don’t s.i, they say they’re toll free but will the number show up on my cell bill?