so ive been doing pretty good. its been 15 days since i last SIed, although it got bad last time and I did it a few days in a row. however, today i got triggered and cannot stop thinking about it. idk what to do. im not seeing my therapist til next week, i dont want to worry my mom, and i dont like telling my friends. i try to not tell my friends, but my therapist said i need to learn to trust people but i feel like my friends think i just want attention. god i hate that so much. yes, im hurting myself just so you all pay attention to me! people are so ignorant sometimes. but yeah idk what to do. and ive been kinda sad lately on top of all this because of guy problems, and christmas season has been stressing me out…im going crazy basically. and all i want is the familiarity and calmness of SI but i cant have that. i just feel like theres nothing sometimes.