I have been back since November 14. I am already having more and more urges. I have no idea why. I drove by the drug store yesterday and wanted to buy my tool of choice. I picked up another tool in my house today and quickly put it down and did my first log since yesterday but haven’t been doing logs in a long time. I don’t know what to do to keep myself from doing anything. I know I shouldn’t give up yet or anytime but that’s what I feel like doing.  I also woke up for the first time this morning since I left the program thinking it would be a good day to die, I haven’t thought that for years.  I don’t know what is happening to me anymore.  Please help!