so in school today we had a presentation about Rachel’s Challenge, which is like a set of goals out together by a girl named Rachel who was the first victim of the Columbine massacre in 1999. and as i was listening to her story and her goals, it inspired me. i realized that i can stop SIing, and i will. i’m feeling much better about it too, before recently i didn’t really try my hardest not to SI, but a few days ago i was really tempted, so i ran around my house, found some paint, and i just finger painted all the emotions out of me. it ended up just a big jumble of browns and mixed colors, but it helped, and that was the first time i had actually gone out of my way to not SI. so one of the goals of Rachels Challenge is to set goals for yourself and right them down somewhere to make them official, so i’m going to write the few that i’ve thought of down here.
1. i’m going to stop SIing. i know i can do it, and however long it may take, i’m going to get through this.
and…
2. i’m going to make more of a conscious effort to reach out to my friends, boyfriend, or even my mom or sister when i want to SI. i have a hard time reaching out, but i’m working on it.
i feel like i can really, actually do this. i’ve never felt so motivated. i don’t know what changed, but i like the way i’m feeling. i’ll post my progress on here when i can, and hopefully i’ll make progress soon!
I’m glad you’re feeling better and you took that first step. That’s what it took for me. I’ve been “free” for 4 years now and it’s been wonderful. I can’t really pinpoint it to one thing that changed me either–I think it was a combination of a lot of things. Getting your “frustration” channelled in other directions is a first step I think. Writing down your thoughts and feelings and what you want to do is great. Set goals, but make them obtainable. Don’t set yourself up for failure right from the beginning. I know you can do it too–keep us posted!
That’s great! Keep reaching out and practicing letting (safe and healthy) people support you. It’s something that takes work and effort – but I have no doubt you can do it. Keep us posted and take care.
Pam L.
Congrats on making the first step by declaring out loud what your goals are 🙂 That is huge… Now you just have to be committed to following through — and remember Rachel when you struggle.
wat to go! i give you props on telling yourslef you can get threw this and will stop. Thats the hardest step and uve made it. I look up to you and hope i get to that step
Wow that is so amazing. Im glad you found something that you can hold on to during the hard times. I even think you have inspired me a little. Maybe i’ll have to go searching for my “Rachel”! Stay strong.
Yes, good luck, I know you can do it! the fingerpainting idea was great, its good to have something else to reales all the feelings inside without having to release it on yourself. I’m currently trying to find my other outlet, maybe I’ll try fingerpainting, lol.
thank you all so much, just reading your praises has made my day :] i was going to SI last night, and i fought back! i was really proud of myself because i talked myself through it and just sat down and watched a movie, and it helped. and for everyone who commented that’s struggling there’s always something out there that you can do instead wether it be fingerpainting or painting your nails or just taking a shower by candle light [which i’ve done before-it’s really relaxing] and i hope you all get there! and i’ll keep you all posted on how i do in the future.
in other news, my aunt is staying at my house for the holidays, and she’s addicted to some drug, i’m not sure which, and i have no idea how this is going to effect me. i haven;t seen her in years and i don’t know how my mother or father or grandma [who lives with me also] will react, and i’m pretty nervous. but i’m just going to look forward to christmas and giving my boyfriend his present [he’s going to love it, it’s a “Tool” t-shirt and he loves them] and anging out with my friends. stay strong for the holidays, and thank you all for being here for me :]