My brother had another seizure today. He couldn’t even stop his own fall. He just blacked out, fell, and started shaking, and there was nothing I could do. He’s way to young to be getting seizures, and it’s rattled me more then I’ll say. The last time this happened I used pain to distract, and calm my head, but that got ugly quick. I haven’t injured in over a year, but I haven’t really gotten over my urges completely either. My ability to deal with situations is improved but, still fragile, and I am getting very, very close to a relapse. I was actually shaking earlier while trying to suppress the urge, and that hasn’t happened since I stopped. I’m stronger than these urges, but I’m losing control and I can’t go back to that way of life. I can’t go back to that. I’m really trying to hold it together, even now while typing. I’ve got nobody I can lean on for this, so I’m leaning on you. Please just give me something to hold onto. Any suggestions, or encouragement would really mean a lot. I really don’t want to relapse.
it’s good that you’re reaching out for support rather than isolating yourself. you could try writing, or drowing yourself in music, or doing some sort of sport or workout just to exert energy. sometimes it also helps me to just curl up in a ball and stay very still and try to think of other things until the urges are gone. it’s hard, but if you succeed it feels nice to know you overcame the urges. and i don’t know if you’re seeing someone like a therapist already, but if not that option is always good. you are stronger than these urges and you can overcome them! if you need to talk, contact me at dumdiddly311@yahoo.com