I ache inside, still struggling wanting to si not sure what to do or where to turn. life feels out of control and there is no where to turn. hospitals–for me a waste of time, it just borrows time and i face the same old reoccurring problems. i hate myself today more than i did yesterday and there just seems to be no answers with my partner. she doesn’t understand the si, i don’t understand her nagging and life is just crazy. the si’ing has increased i do it more and more and find less and less release. i feel certain that i am going mad again. i feel that we can’t go through another of these terrible times. what to do????????????
you need to talk to someone that understand this, like a therapist that secializes in SI. and many people just don’t understand, they can’t figure out why someone would want to SI, and you can’t expect everyone to understand or even try to. you also can’t hate yourself for this! i know how it makes you feel and i know it’s very temptimg to blame it all on yourself, but you shouldn’t hate yourself. i deffinitely think seeing a therapist is a good way to start recovering and helping yourself out. you may not want to go, but it will benefit you if you do. you can get through this!
The first thing you need to do is to take responsibility for what you can control — which is self-injury. Self-injury is a choice, not something we are forced to do. Each and every one of us must decide (often multiple times a day) whether or not to hurt ourselves.
What we can’t control is what other people are doing to us, yet we CAN CONTROL how we respond to our own situations.
I understand things are difficult right now, but keeping a negative attitude about everything going on doesn’t help you. I’ve been guilty of this lately too, yet I have tried to change my outlook — for example, I was laid off my job and am facing possible eviction from my apartment… yet I have been able to turn enough of my energy positive so that I could apply/ interview for another job and I found out this week that I got the job!
Don’t get me wrong because I have spent many days in bed depressed and frustrated and angry, yet it only gets me further behind. Now I am making myself get up and try and focus on the positive – which is that I start training my new job next week – and how maybe, just maybe I am actually worth more than the loser of a boss I had who laid me off. I went from a bad-bad-bad job situation to landing a position that can turn into a lifelong career, filled with advancements and a great job outlook for the next 30yrs.
The only thing that has saved me has been the support of the few friends I have left, prayer, and the conscious decision to control my attitude and outlook on life. I’m currently 66days SI free too! Self-injury is a choice.