today i went to confessions, thinking that it would be a good idea. now i regret it. i feel awful. i want to s.i. so bad. i’m not quite sure why either. when i told the priest of my actions, he gave me this sort of look that said “oooh, you really shouldn’t be doing that.” then he told me that i should get some help. as if i didn’t already know that! for my penance he told me to talk to someone and get some help. that did it. i got all shaky and was ready to blow. i kept my calm, but was horrified. maybe just hearing someone actually tell me to get help hit me. i feel so guilty because i’m not ready to talk to anyone. and i keep getting this feeling that he’s going to go tell someone, even though i know he can’t.

once again i’m losing it. if you have anything to say, feel free to. i’m open to any suggestions or help of any sort.

thanks to all that read this.