I just don’t understand why it all has to be so hard.  I struggle with the self injury everyday.  i thought i had it under control, but it is so out of control.  the more i try to control it, the more out of control it gets.  I feel desperate.  as i try to deal with life the only resolve i find is in injuring.  i know the books and i understand the concepts of taking care of myself but i don’t care about me, i don’t feel that i deserve to feel any better and that all i deserve is the self abuse.  feeling pretty alone today