We’ve been discussing some of the recent blog entries here at the office. It seems like there’s a trend of people who really want some help/support, but aren’t sure what to do about that.
Not all people who self injure are the same, but there are some similarities we’ve seen. One thing we’ve seen throughout the years is that many people who self injure are very intelligent and can be perfectionistic. Another thing we’ve seen is that the majority of people who self injure don’t like to ask for help; they have learned not to ask for help somewhere along the way. It takes courage and practice, but asking for what you need has a much better outcome than trying to passively attempt to get help.
An example would be someone who’s in school and wants help and support. One option to attempt to get help would be to injure yourself and hope that someone realizes your need for support and helps you. You may get help, but it may not be what you were hoping for. There could be negative consequences for self injuring – getting in “trouble” of some sort. A better option would be to go to someone you believe is trustworthy and ask for help. It’s a much more direct approach and you have a much better chance of getting the help/support that you are seeking. Asking for help can be hard at first, but we all need help once in a while.
Another quality many who self injure share is that they are great at helping others. While helping others is a positive quality, you can do that so much you forget to pay attention to what you may need. Allow others to help you once in a while. For those of you who are tempted to SI as a way to ask for help – consider practicing asking directly for the help you need. It’s worth it.
Pam L. (Clinical Therapist with S.A.F.E.)