Hi – can anyone help me? I am 36 and started injuring when I was 35. I am married (10 years) and I really want to have a baby but we are dealing with infertility. I did get pregnany but lost our baby when I was 9 weeks and that is when I started injuring. Now I don’t know how to stop. Any help – Any advice?
i have to first say that i am so sorry you lost your baby. i know firsthand how painful that is. and i know that it hurts more because of your struggle with infertility. my thoughts go out to you and your husband.
i can also tell you that you are not alone with respect to your self-injury. i did not start until i was 40, at a time when i was more depressed than i had ever been. i know how hard it is to stop when you are going through something that is agonizing for you.
my advice? you didn’t mention whether or not you are in counseling. if you aren’t, i would suggest you do so right away. infertility and the loss of a baby are extremely difficult and you may not be able to get through this on your own.
i would also be willing to listen to you. feel free to e-mail me at lateral.damage@yahoo.com. i have been where you are and would dearly love to help you in any way i can. take care.
I couldn’t imagine the pain of losing a child, but I’m sure it was awful. I’m guessing you want to fix your issue before anyone gets involve (I could be wrong but that’s how I feel.) Honestly, I may be a hypocrite, but, I think you should seek a doctors help. I don’t know what they’ll do but, with the stories I’ve heard I’m assuming a doctor or specialist could help you. I really hope my advice helped! 🙂 Have a good day.
I too didn’t first SI [in the “traditional” sense of the word] until I was 33 and started having flashbacks of childhood abuse that I’d forgotten [push away]. My point is that overwhelming stress provokes some of us to seek outrageous means to cope and distract ourselves from the pain of our circumstances. I agree with the two previous posts. You have much to grieve and process. Much stress and disappointment to work through and to “talk” through. It might really help to regularly see someone for therapy or counselling, but if that’s possible for you, then blogging like this or emailing online friends and talking with other supportive people in your life about your feelings and losses may help you overcome the urge to SI. I’m no expert and not altogether successful in my own journey, but I’ve learned that committing to talking instead of SI’ing is key to changing and recovering from the damage and the pain that’s brought us to this distorted means of coping.
If you’d like to chat…email me at ninelives9@live.com
I accidentally pushed the wrong button!!! Anyway…I started injuring at age 30 and am now 34 years old. I would love to hear from you and maybe we can exchange phone numbers. I live in canada so calling cards are best for me. I have been to the SAFE program in Texas but am still having a really hard time giving it up completely. Take care and talk soon!!