O.k. I have been sitting here for a good five minutes trying to figure out how the heck to spit out what’s on my mind, and this is a sad attempt at a begininng. I feel…..mad, sad, helaciously frustrated, very tired, and somewhat numb. I’m mad at other people but I likely have no right to be. I only say that because after any confrontation I’ve ever had somehow I end up apologizing. I’m sad because I have no job or friends, and for the last five years of my life I have spent every day of every week sitting in the same chair and watching the same shows. I love to shop, see movies, I’ve never been to a “party”, but they sound like fun, and socialize. Thing is, I haven’t a soul to do any of that with. I literally can’t get a job. There are reasons, but I don’t want to turn this into a pitty party. To be completely honest, injuring has been ‘just something to do’ a small amount of times. Yeah, there are other thoughts and feelings that went along with it, but when I have no one, sometimes I just have to make stuff up.
I know what it feels like to be lost. I haven’t had a job since 1993 and believe me it’s hard for me to swallow. It’s been especially hard for me for the last 3 weeks because I’ve fallen out of the human race. I could see the same shows on TV and watch the same DVD’s because along with that stuff comes the numbness that follows. I don’t remember the last time I ever been to a party, but I know that it means socializing and I don’t get to do that often even or not at all. You are not turning this into a pitty party this is a place where you can let it all out without any judgement or people saying in the back of their minds shut up this is a safe place to just be yourself believe me this place has helped me in more ways than one.
Listen if you need to just let things out or need someone to talk to my e-mail address is: denny666@verion.net I’m here anytime you need to just get things straight. Maybe we both could come up with things together to get you through whatever you need to get through.
I understand you, but I was wondering does your numbness come after hours of crying?
yes.