O.k. I have been sitting here for a good five minutes trying to figure out how the heck to spit out what’s on my mind, and this is a sad attempt at a begininng.  I feel…..mad, sad, helaciously frustrated, very tired, and somewhat numb.  I’m mad at other people but I likely have no right to be.  I only say that because after any confrontation I’ve ever had somehow I end up apologizing. I’m sad because I have no job or friends, and for the last five years of my life I have spent every day of every week sitting in the same chair and watching the same shows.  I love to shop, see movies, I’ve never been to a “party”, but they sound like fun, and socialize.  Thing is, I haven’t a soul to do any of that with.  I literally can’t get a job.  There are reasons, but I don’t want to turn this into a pitty party.  To be completely honest, injuring has been ‘just something to do’ a small amount of times.  Yeah, there are other thoughts and feelings that went along with it, but when I have no one, sometimes I just have to make stuff up.