I’m trying to do this so hard but..I just can’t shake it off. I’ve only been out of SAFE 11 days and one of those “other” things that come back. Something you haven’t struggled with for a while, or not that much but then “POW” come back full force!! I don’t know what to do? I feel like a…(gotta change that word)I wasn’t allowed to say that word in group so I’m trying to keep myself away from it.
Yes, I’ve logged it, I’ve done other things to try to get away but it keeps coming back. I even emailed my counselor I’m seeing and when I saw her after she was kinda surprised that I didn’t “give in”.
Any advice..
Take a deep breath, and get back into today. What is “it” that you are trying to shake off, a feeling? If so what feeling, and what are you telling yourself about this particular feeling? My guess, you are feeling vulnerable, and you are letting your thoughts run wild. Have you filled out a negative thought log yet? Also, what is “it keeps coming back”, thoughts to s.i.?
Remember s.i. is a thought not a feeling, and that you CAN change your thoughts. I’m really glad you are reaching out for help.
Karen Conterio
One thing I’m working on right now is that the past is the past. Accept it instead of trying to change it. Many things hit me “POW” as you said, and I try to change it. Well my T and I are working on just accept it. Radical Acceptance is what it is called. I can’t change it, is it doing any harm to me today, and is there anything I can really do about it today? I have to take it through a process or it beats me down. Sometimes even when I don’t want to SI but I feel totally stressed out and I”m not sure what all is going on I will do an impulse log to help slow down my thoughts and take a look at a what is really going on and then go from there. Just saying what I am working on right now.
I know it’s not easy and it’s scary just getting home from SAFE but you can do it. I’m sure many people believe in you, do you believe in you? For me when I’m having those great positive days nothing can take me down I do a lot of work. I add to my alternatives list, maybe make a list of positives, a bunch of stuff so when I have those tough times, which I get a lot, but I get through them. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and that makes all things possible for me. Hope this was of some help.
Laura