So i haven’t SIed in 9 months or so i thought. I realized in the last week that i have been doing it just in a different way, which makes me feel like crap cause i thought i was almost over it. I know i keep getting closer to going full out and doing it like i used to. There’s so much pressure from Ap classes, college, and social life I dont know how much longer i can hold off. But this helps, having someplace where i can vent to people who understand and won’t treat me like a freak. It is so strange how i can have so much in common with people i don’t even know. I want to much to just be the happy person i pretend to be. To not feel like i have to hurt myself to feel better. How can you overcome something that is so much a part of you? SIing is the only thing that helps and that makes me feel worse. I SI because im depressed and im depressed partly because i SI. *Sigh* I cant think about college because i don’t like thinking about the future. If i hurt this much now what will it be like in a couple of years? I can barely handle the present. Advice and encouragement please, i need it from somewhere.