Okay so last week was my 3rd week of no SI’ing and than i couldn’t take it anymore and did it. I know 3 weeks isn’t that big of a deal. i know people have gone longer than that. But i was really excited that i had gone that long and than i snapped. I can’t picture my life without this but i really wish i could and no matter how hard i try. I hate having this totally depressed feeling all the time. I know God is in control, He never gives me more than I can handle and He has a plan for my life. There is a reason for everything. I know that and am trying hard to believe that. But I was so angry and i ended up doing it pretty bad and freaked myself out. but after it was all cleaned up and fixed i wanted to do it again but didn’t. But now i’m totally obsessing. I hate this, i hate this, i hate this! I need peace from this for just 5 minutes!
a verse that has helped me a lot is 1 Corinthians 10:13. “The tempatations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. and God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. when you are tempted, He will show you a way out so you will not give in to it.”