It took me forever to get to the point where i actually wanted to stop and then when i decided it did, it got so much easier. . . for a while. After i came home from texas i was doing great and felt great. . .for about two weeks. It has been 10 weeks since i was in texas and im not doing nearly as well as i was there. It has only been about 3 weeks since i last SI’d and i feel like im backsliding. For a while i was doing so well and i only had impulses once every couple days maybe even once a week if i was lucky, but now they’re there again almost every day. Is it even worth it to do this. I’v been trying to stop almost half the time that iv been doing it. I only started in march but it got really serious really fast. By july i was in texas. I just dont know if i even want to stop anymore. I want to do it so bad. My self esteem is the lowest its ever been. My therapist even told me that i was the most self-loathing person she had ever worked with. Im only 15 and i dont want to fight this forever. i just dont know if its even worth it to me anymore.