Its been two weeks and two days since i last SI’d and i feel like i’m going crazy. the one person i feel actually cared at one point seems to be pulling herself out of the situation. we’re still friends but she doesn’t respond to much of anything when i try and talk to her. maybe i don’t need anyone to talk to about this. But besides that I need to si real bad. more than i need anything else. I’m starting to fall back into my eating disorder. i worked really hard to get over that years ago but now that i’m in counseling and trying not to SI its starting to come back. I need something. I’m a Christian and i know God should be more than enough but right now that does not make me feel better. I don’t think i can do this. I want it to end. i don’t care how. i wish i could just fade away into nothing. I don’t want to be here anymore.
Hi ! It’s Denise and you know you can always talk to me about what’s going on so that maybe we both could come up with some ideas and yes you will always need to talk because no matter how hard you try and keep it inside it just doesn’t work believe me I’ve been there. I believe that you’ve come this far and yes you can do it I have faith in you and you should have it in yourself. Fading away to nothing means you’ll never find out that you could do it so yes you do want to be here because if you didn’t you wouldn’t be talking about it now. If you need to talk any further e-mail me and maybe we both could come up with solutions together. I Love You and Keep The Faith.
You know, as a christian i feel the same way, but just think about this…everyday I dont si, is a day where God was interseeding for me. Everyday that I think about it, is where the holy Spirit is interseeding within me. And yes I might fall, and then feel bad, but Still God has not stopped interseeding for me. I know how you feel, i struggle so much and feel i cant do this anymore…i have no answers to this, just that you are not alone, everyday there is someone fighting for existance en want to do the right thing. And that is what I think God see as victory, not giving up that day, was a good day. every day that i wake up i know someone else is fighting the good fight with me. Hang in there. Its not always going to be like this.