Its been two weeks and two days since i last SI’d and i feel like i’m going crazy. the one person i feel actually cared at one point seems to be pulling herself out of the situation. we’re still friends but she doesn’t respond to much of anything when i try and talk to her. maybe i don’t need anyone to talk to about this. But besides that I need to si real bad. more than i need anything else. I’m starting to fall back into my eating disorder. i worked really hard to get over that years ago but now that i’m in counseling and trying not to SI its starting to come back. I need something. I’m a Christian and i know God should be more than enough but right now that does not make me feel better. I don’t think i can do this. I want it to end. i don’t care how. i wish i could just fade away into nothing. I don’t want to be here anymore.