I’m writing cause i’ve yet again about a week and now feel like i’m at my limit with what i can handle without Si’ing. i can’t even pin point a specific reason why i want to do it. i feel like i’m never going to get past this. its been ten years almost. I’m 22 and just want to get past this part of my life and i just can’t. i hate this! I’m trying really hard and working with my Pastor but it just feels like its never going to go away. I’ve screwd my life up so much. I can’t see past the fact that this is what i deserve.