Today I was just so depressed and I REALLY don’t know know and its frustrating! It just came from nowhere really. Sometimes I wonder if maybe i really do need my medication. But I don’t think I am okay with that. I don’t want to take it. Its a pride thing. I know I need to get over myself if thats the case. But that would mean i would have to go back to Penn Foundation again and I don’t believe that they are right or even help. My theripist actually made it worse at sometimes and other times just repeated the same things over and over! Maybe its better to just deal with this and continue to go see my pastor. He actually helps and is trying to get to the root. But that just means no meds. oh well I don’t know.

Also, i’m letting school get to me and it just seems like so much. Its been four years since i’ve graduated H.S. and being back in school just seems to be too much and i just started! I know i’m a slower learner and I hate that! I wish i could just get it together and figure this out but I know its going to take time if it ever happens. I’m just frustrated right now. It’s only been four days since I last SI’d. I’m really not doing well in fighting that lately and am totally discouraged with myself. Right now i’m trying to take one day at a time. I’m praying I can do this.