I havent SI since august. which really isnt that long ago, but i finally started feeling better. i was on a better track feeling better. then on friday night i s.i. i wasnt in a bad mood or sad i just wanted need to. then saturday i hung out with my 2 best friends and i smoked weed for the first time ever. i dont know why, but i reacted to being high VERY badly. i couldnt stop screaming and i felt soo scared. at some points i couldnt feel any part of my body. i was so thirsty and i was trying to get water but i could barely walk. i kept wondering how i got somewhere and it felt like i kept waking up from dreams and falling back asleep and then waking up again. everything is pretty hazy. but i definately know that i will never ever do that again. i hated it so much. but the worst part was that i didnt have a friend to turn to. i smoked with my best friend in the whole world and i thought i could trust her with anything and she would always be there for me. but yesterday when i was high, i just wanted her help to take me someone where i could lay down and rest so i could feel better. but she kept on screaming at me to calm down. she didnt give a darn about me she just wanted to make sure we didnt get caught. then she completely ignored me. i feel so alone with no one to turn to. i dont know what to do. i just wanted to let this all out
im really sorry that your friend wasnt there for you.i thying it is a really good i ea tho to never smoke again no matter who yiu are with. people are different high. you do need to talk to her though. and you are not alone. if you want to contact me you can email me at bohbot2@yahoo.com . just keep in mind a lot of people in your life DO love you but sometimes they dont show it good or it isnt what we are thinking then. hope everything works out in the end i know it will. one of my favorite quotes are
Everything will be ok in the end
If it is not ok it is NOT the end
sometimes i loose hope and think it will never get better but i just remember its not over yet. dont ever give up and hang in there
thank you so much for that comment. i kinda want to smoke again tho because i think the weed was just too strong and to much for my first time. maybe if i do it again it will be better. yeah my friend says shes always there for me but when i need her, she doesnt help me. i dont think she is a good friend but i still love her and want to be her frien. i like that quote tooo.
and thank you again