i’m so completly overwhelmed and don’t have any idea how to handle this feeling of total and complete helplessness. besides self injuring anyway and i know i can’t do that but my whole body is screaming for it. i know this will pass but that doesn’t help in the moment when its all you can do to just sit still. i feel like i’m going to completely lose my mind and it hasn’t even been a week since i last did it. i feel like a complete failure and that i should be able to come up with something else to do but i just can’t. i feel like its just inevitalbe that even if i can push it off for tonight that one of these days i’ll just end up doing it anyway. its amazing how things can turn from okay to not okay so fast. i don’t know how to handle feelings like this besides SI’ing. Nothing works like it does and its frustrating to find a replacement while i’m working on the real issue.
Have you tried talking to anyone? Is this an issue that you can talk to another person about? What about a therapist? Talking sometimes helps, also venting on blogs or in a journal…kind of like you are doing now can help. I don’t really have real good advice…..but just try to distract your mind and find something else to do…like a hobby or watching tv or something. Do something that gets your mind off of whatever is bothering you and gets your hands doing something.
I’m sorry you feel this way…. but i hope this helps just a little.
Jamie-
its extremely hard to find a replacement for SIing but it IS POSSIBLE.!!
do you write at all?? its extremely cathartic.. and healing.. for me it has been so extremely helpful, to get a better hold of my thoughts and what I am really feeling.. if you go onto the store on the SAFE website you can see the impulse logs that they use for the program and for me they are sooo extremely helpful.. they help breakdown how you are feeling and what the consequences of your SI will be.. along with other things you did to prevent SI.. it helped me pick up on patterns of my emotions.. and such….
hugs
Cassie
I know what you mean all of us think at one time or another we are complete failures, but Jamie your not. You are just having a hard time deciding what to do instead of SI and believe me that could be the hardest thing in the world to find. If you need to call your Pastor up and talk instead of harming yourself then do that maybe you just need to talk through the feelings and try to get relief that way. If you need to talk you can e-mail me you have my address I’ll be thinking about you Take Care LOVE