I am such a failure…and freak.  I don’t understand why I didn’t turn to something more socially acceptable like alcohol as a negative coping skill;   When I go to SAFE Intensive next week, no one will see my scars, although I’ve had several trips to both the operating room and emergency room due to my SI.  What if I die from this?  I’m so tired!!!  And in a lot of discomfort.  I’d much rather die than continue this struggle!!!  I plan to give the SAFE program my ALL.  My life depends on it; it is my last hope.  I’m so scared!  What if it doesn’t help?  Will I be seen as a freak even at SAFE because of where I SI?