I have been able to hide the fact that I S.I. up until a few years ago. My doctors saw some scars during a exam that I couldn’t quite cover up. My husband also has become aware of this issue. Although my doctors understand or try to, my husband thinks it is something I can just stop. I have tried to many times. We just recently moved and I don’t know anyone where we live which is really hard despite the fact I don’t really like being around people anyways. I have been here a week and a half and I have S.I. twice. My husband thinks I quit. I don’t want him to think I am not happy because he loves it so much here. I just hurt for many reasons and instead of the normal releases, i turn to this. My doctors wanted to hospitalize me many times, but I refused. Sometimes I get embarssed about the scars when people see the old ones. Sometimes I am numb and just don’t care. My husband is leaving for a month due to work and I am afraid to be alone. I am afraid of what I am capable of.