Ok…I know I need help. But I don’t want it completely. I know what I do is extremely bad but it’s the only way I know how to deal with things. I like what I do, I feel that it helps me. I told two of my friends and when I told them they thought I was done, but I’ve done it 7 times since I told them which was about 4 days ago. It’s never been this bad but I think it’s just from the stress of telling them. They say I need to stop and I know that. I just don’t want to. Want is controlling me right now, want is saying that I need it. Tonight I was tempted to do it again but I didn’t. For once in my life I controlled it. But I can still feel the desire to in me. I could get up right now and do it and when I think that way it makes me want to. I know that I’m not going to be able to always control it, I’m guessing that I might do it again this week. I don’t know how to get myself to stop, my friends have told me it’s hurting them and it’s going to hurt other people when they find out. They said that I’m not going to be able to hide this forever and it’s going to kill whoever finds out on their own. I know what to do, but I don’t want to.