I know there’s no turning back now; I am going to follow through on my plan to go through the SAFE hospital program in Denton in October. The closer it gets, the more anxious I become. I know that I’m going to have to do therapeutic work unlike any I’ve ever done before. I’m going to have to push myself to bring out (and carefully examine) EVERY skeleton I’ve thus far been reluctant to pull out of the closet….no matter how difficult it is to talk about or how much it makes me hate myself and makes me want to hurt myself.
I think it’s a good thing that no one who knows me will be able to see me through the month long process because I don’t know how I’m going to react to the memories and emotions that will surface. I imagine I will get worse before I get better. I’m willing to do it, though. I’m going to give it my ALL, like my life depends on it (because it DOES)!
I am open to listening to any suggestions from any SAFE Alumni on how to make the most out of my stay. I feel fortunate to be able to go to the program, yet I am scared, too. The idea that I may not HAVE to SI ever again is unfathomable to me. I sure would like it to be so, though.