I’m under a lot of stress right now because my life has turned a full 300 degrees in the last 2.5 weeks. I have changed jobs/ careers (got fired, interviewed for a couple jobs, took a new job and then quit it, finally took a full-time position elsewhere), gone from working all night long to working all day long, my nerve damage has flared up quite badly in both my hand and ankle, and I have financially hit a very low bottom… to the point where not only my electricity has been turned off, but I also received an eviction notice on my apartment! I eventually paid my rent, but I still believe it is time for me to move.
Anyway… I am proud to say I have only slipped up once in all of this time and it was right at the beginning. Today was a really hard day, as I saw some really close friends at church who I hadn’t seen since everything came crashing down. I actually told her what was going on and didn’t hold back, like I thought I would if I saw her. I also blurted out what was going on to another friend when she called me back this afternoon, after I had called her in a panic a little while before and then hung up on her. I have cried and cried and cried, but I haven’t hurt myself. I have only slipped up once in the last 2.5 weeks with the specific behavior I’m trying to eliminate from my life in terms of self-injury – I also haven’t depended on my other methods of self-harm as much lately either… so I’m making progress, despite feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders and the sharp edges of the falling stars.
I just wanted to post something positive related to my struggles with self-injury. I’m trying to recover and it’s hard. It is a moment by conscious moment struggle for me. I hate how much it has impacted my life and I’m attempting to regain control over my behaviors.
I’m sorry for what has been happening to you. However, I’m proud of you for having such self control during all that you have had to endure. Are there other things you can do to get yoru mind off of SI during such a stressful time? Have you tried stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, or writing?
If you ever need time to vent just message me.
<3 Juliana
[Accidently clicked “submit comment”]
P.S I wish you best of luck wiht everything!
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You are in my prayers. :]
I am having a rough time and life is just my trigger right now. I have tried to crochet, but that is creating anxiety… as I have a deadline of about 12hrs from now (noon on Wednesday) and I have failed at everything I have attempted to get ready for the contest — I guess I’ll be saving the entries once they are complete to enter in the State Fair next summer, rather than my local fair.
I am so close to not being able to stay strong enough for me. I’m scared.