i need tips on how to stop SI. i can’t afford treatment or therapy. i thought that i could stop anytime that i wanted to but i don’t think that’s going to happen. i am so frustrated that i have been thinking about suicide and have even wrote my suicide not to my family. i don’t want to end my life but sometimes the pain is so deep that seems like the only option to me.
Hi,
First, although you can not afford therapy, there are often free treatment options available. If you are a student, please contact your school’s health center, they will be able to refer you to services. If you are not, try to contact a local clinic, they should be able to refer you to someone. Talking to someone, knowing that someone else knows the hell that you are going through and wants you to live, will help you hold on. If you trust your family, talk to them, they need to know that you really need help and support, right now. If you don’t, please find a friend, colleague, or teacher. It may seem like a burden to you, but honestly, people will be happy to help, it will make them feel important and needed. If you commit suicide, the people around you will blame themselves and be sad – give them a chance to help you.
Also, if at any time the urge to kill yourself becomes over-powering, get help! Call 911, walk into the emergency room, call a friend and tell them exactly what you are thinking, or even walk into a safe public place, and stay there until the urge is gone. When I was really badly off, I used to go to 24 hour cafés, and spend the night. I couldn’t do anything to hurt myself with other people around.
Even if it doesn’t seem like it now, your life is really important. There are more people than you could imagine who would be hurt by the loss of you; people you know now, like your family, but also people you will meet in the future. If it helps you, make plans, with friends and family (for instance, a date to see a movie with friends every friday) so that you know you can not miss that event. Volunteer, so that you know you will be missed if you do not show up.
Figure out why you injure yourself, how you could replace SI with an activity that was not harmful. If you do it out of anger and frustration, find a productive activity, or an energy waster (I used to run when I wanted to injure myself, but there are probably many other things you could try) that you could do instead. If you do it to tire yourself out, to calm yourself, maybe you could try yoga or some other relaxation technique. Make hurdles for yourself, so that you won’t have equipment available to hurt yourself when the urge strikes you. (For instance, make sure all your tools are in a public place; or write a note on the drawer if you live alone, telling you not to do this. Get rid of your shaving tools, and wax your legs instead.
Please try to find help through your family, friends, or through community associations. Look for mental health advocacy groups in your area, they should be able to refer you to free services. You have a right to be helped if you are in pain like this.
You are important, and even if it is hard and takes a long time you WILL get better. Please make sure to stay safe until that happens.
I wish you the best of luck