I went thru the safe program back in February 04 when it was in chicago. I must say going thru that program was one of the toughest things that i have done. But i am glad that i went. After i graduated i still struggled alot with some things like when i went back home like many of you that is were my problems all started and i just went right back to them. But i kept using my impulse control logs and i stayed in touch with my therapist brandi for a little while.
About 2 months out of the program i had a relapse and it was bad. It got me back in the hospital in the acute unit. Things at home just werent getting better and school was awful. I was a freshman in hs and i guess you could say i hung out with the wrong crowd most of the people i hung out with also SI but none of them ever got help for it. I was in the hospital for about 2 weeks i loved being in there as crazy as that sounds cause i was away from home. When i left that time i was gone for about another 2 or 3 months before another relapse and it was after that one that i decided things had to change i realized that i wasnt trying to stop i was putting myself in just to get away from home. So i made some new friends and i got a job and started to participate in after schoold activities to keep me away from home and all that helped me so much.
Know you are probably wondering how i am know. Well i graduated HS in 2007 and i joined the army. Things at home didnt get too much better really i still struggled with impulses but for the longest time i continued to use the impulse control logs. I stopped using them about 2 years ago i didnt really need them anymore. My life as of right know is awesome…i still think about my past alot and everything that happened to me but i look at it like everything happens for a reason. I enjoy the army life so much and my family and i are closer than ever even tho i am 1000 miles away. All i am trying to say in all this is everything takes time…it take me about 3 years to get away from home all of you who are struggling keep using the logs and talking to your therapist im telling you if you let it every thing that you learn in safe helps you…it may take you years to figure out how like it did for me but im happier than i have ever been in my life. My scars are healing and barely noticable to anyone but myself i will always know that they are there. We all have our falling points and we all struggle keep your head up cause one day everything will just fall right into place for you like it did for me but you have to apply all you learned. Keep all of your assignments that you did and then when your life does its 180 you can look back at it all and think about how much you have changed…i do it all the time i have my impulse control logs even. It weird how the littlest things made me want to SI and know i am dealing with much bigger issues and i am fine i get irratated but the option of SI never comes to mind!
Thank you safe for all you have done. And anyone who is still struggling out there please feel free to talk to me. you ALL will make it thru it just takes time.