I went for four weeks without si which is huge for me but then today i ruined it. i was arguing with my mom and she slapped me across the face in fornt of her friend and her friends family and nobody said anything to her. i was so upset that i self-harmed. i just cant believe i did that . i  have been out of the s.af.e. program for two weeks now and i cant believe i did this. i though i had gotten past this. im just so angry with myself. how do i deal with messing up?