I want so badly to stop self-injuring but its all i seem to think about and anything seems to make me think of it. its so frustrating. it gets so bad sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it to fight anymore. i’ve been doing this for 8 years and it doesn’t feel like it will ever go away. Will this ever get easier, because i don’t think i can handle this much longer. Sometimes i just want to be dead because i am too tired to deal with any of this anymore.

I’m in counseling and i’m trying very hard, i ‘m just afraid he and a friend who is coming with me will start to get frustrated and walk away.  i really don’t want that at all. i feel like i have to never SI again or i’m not making any progress even though i know in my head thats not true. i just feel like that for some reason. its all just too much to handle right now.