This weekend I’ve been really sick with a stomach virus and feeling the pain of that.  All I want right now is to SI so I could replace one pain with another.  I haven’t thought about the issue in a while and this has been the longest I’ve gone without SI(7/3) and it’s like do I have the right to feel this way or am I that loser I always thought I was.  I can’t get the thought out of my head and I know I have a choice to do it or not and right now  physically  I’m still in pain and mentally  I just can’t stop thinking about how to relieve that pain.