I’ve been in contact with my friends at S.A.F.E. and it makes me think That I wish I was back there. There is no one in New York City that I could relate to when it comes to SI and that is the downside to all of this. I graduated from the program last week and I never thought it would be this hard. I’m trying not to go backwards and I also had my first argument with my therapist I said to her so who would care if I went back and I told her everyone is waiting for me to make the mistake so why not please them. I can’t believe how deep this loneliness goes and with it I’m also angry to the point where it’s blinding me.