I just found this site today. It’s about 2am where I am, and about an hour ago I got off the phone with my boyfriend. While I was on the phone with him, I did SI, and I don’t even know why.
I’ve been doing it for a little over 3 years now, and I want to stop. My only problem is I can’t. No matter how hard I try, I always find myself crawling back to SI and suicidal thoughts. It doesn’t matter whether I’ve gone days, weeks, or sometimes even months without it. I always end up back at square one, just when I think I’m finally over SI.
I’ve promised so many people I would stop… My mom, sister, aunt, cousins, best friends, ex-boyfriends… The only person I haven’t said the words “I promise I will not hurt myself again” to is my current boyfriend, David. Lies hurt him, and I don’t want to make a promise to him I know I’ll probably break.
Please, I want help. If you’ve been able to stop, please give me some tips. I need them…
My email is nikkiVAMPtm@aim.com, or just IM me at nikkiVAMPtm. I’m usually on most of the time.