basically everything i try to do, even when i’m trying to straighten my life out, gets messed up. i’ve been trying really hard not to SI but everything is so screwed up. i feel like its the only thing i can do right now.  everyone in my family has got it together basically, they haven’t screwed up thier lives and i really feel like i should have this all together by now and the thing that frustrates me so much is that i’m really trying to get everything back on track and its only getting worse. I really want to SI right now!