Long story short, I am 31 years old, have injured since I was five. I started working through the SAFE program through the Bodily Harm book, and after a few years, I became injury free. I am happy to say that to this day, I have been injury free for five years now. This is the longest I have ever been without injuring, but I still have thoughts and urges to injure. Sometimes those urges are so strong that I almost give into them. My Pastor helped me work through the program as part of the program, we set a date that when I reached it injury free, I would receive a ring, a promise ring. When I get my thoughts and urges, I always reach for my ring and think about the day I received it and how I got to where I am now, and how I have come so far and I don’t want to loose that progress, that has kept me from falling back on injuring, but it hasn’t changed the fact that I still struggle with the urges and thoughts. Is this normal? I don’t know anyone else who has been injury free to ask them. I just found this blog today, I have not visited the SAFE site for years, so I am glad that I found it now! Please let me know what you think. Thank you….
Hey there,
I have been SI free for about 9 months, (I know that this does not compare to years, but still) and I have done really well with starting over in my life. I do still have urges to start again, but then I try to remember that life is so better when i’m in contol…..and when I need extra support I know that I can turn to my fellow sisters and brothers on this site.
Ms. Coronado
Nine months is a long time!! GOOD GOING!!! I am glad that I am not the only one still having urges. I just found this site yesterday, well not found, but it has been a long time since I have been to the SAFE site, so I didn’t know that there was a blog, so I am new to the blogging. I hope that I am able to turn to others on this site as well.
Great going once again!! Keep up the great work!
Recovery is a process and you are 9 solid months into it – which is wonderful! Combat the negative thoughts with positive ones. I have tried using scripture affirmations when I am urging and it works sometimes. I’ve put them on a key ring, pull them out when you need some positive inspiration.
i have been harm free for 3 years but yet i to get urges to harm some times they are so strong that its very hard not to give in but i can’t say that i don’t give in because after 3 years i was so over welmed the other day that i ended up harming but i chose to get right back into fighting to keep from do it again. and i know if i want 3 years i can do it again and even longer this time. Right!!!! 🙂
it is completely normal you are doing soooooooooo great i have been SI free for only 2 weeks but i am extremely proud and ya i got an urge once that was so bad i did give up but before i could do anything a friend helped me seems like your pastor would do the same for you don’t give up you are doing amazing
Yeah never think your not normal… I started SIing about a three days ago… but I can’t stop. Sadly enuff I am already hooked on it. my bestfriend told me to come and said it worked for him. But You shold be proud of your self.
To think that maybe one day I will be able to stay SI free for 5years one day.
hi,
i SI’d for 13 years. i am 29 now. I have been clean for 2 and a half years now. i still struggle with it, i still have moments where i have to reach out to my therapist or my friends and tell them that i need to be around someone so that i can stay safe. when my stress level rises the urges do get worse. Sometimes i don’t think about it for days or weeks, then other times it comes back and hits hard. i just try to take care of myself. it sounds like you are doing the right thing, and reaching out to talk about it is very smart.
Thank you all for your responses. I am glad to know that I am not the only one having these thoughts and feelings, even though I wish none of us were dealing with this issue.
LovedButUnsure, I am so sad that you have fallen into the trap of injuring and addicted so fast, but that is how it usually works. Being on this site though, I am hoping means that you are seeking help. Can I ask why you started injuring? If you ever need to talk, night or day you can always email me at pjzbtrfly@aol.com. That goes for any of you. I do not promise that I can help in any way shape and form, but I can offer a listening not jugemental ear, for anyone who need to talk.
OPPS I am SO Sorry, I asked that question to LovedButUnsure, when I meant to post it to original_screw-up. Sorry about that mix up. But my offer still stands for any of you.
Thank you so much for your post, it gives me hope. I’m another “addict” who is seeking recovery. I have a lot of recovery from my eating disorder in a 12 step program, but my self injury seems to be getting worse, so I thought I’d reach out to see if I can find some more support. I live in a pretty rural area & I don’t really have access to any kind of group therapy. I am 30 years old & this is the first time I’ve found people closer to my own age to relate to. Please e-mail me at pugmom@st-tel.net.