i am so sick and tired of people i trust telling others about my self injury. My best friend told her MOM, my dad has told all his siblings who tell their spouses who tell their kids. My mom has told her best friend, my grandparents and HER BOYFRIEND. how to i get people to stop opening their big mouths and keep quiet about my problems.
It sounds like you are tired of people talking about “your issues with self-injury”, not with people talking about the issue of self-injury. Overall, the issue of self-injury IS NOT discussed enough — so you should be happy that people are talking about it, now if they could just learn to talk about it without attaching YOU to it… that is the question.
People just like to gossip, however it doesn’t sound like people are doing that about you — at least this is what I am taking from how you worded your post. What is so wrong with people knowing you are dealing with self-injury? You made the decision to tell people in the first place, which was good, but not everyone knows how to handle news like this… and now they are trying to cope with it… which appears to be by talking about it with others.
Cassandra- she is talking about her mom talking about her self-injury, not self-injury in general. I have many, many years of recovery time, and I am not comfortable with people knowing about my self-injury unless it is on my terms. I would not be happy about people talking about my self-injury, and one of the most important things I learned in safe is that there are no “should’s” in recovery.
Ballet- Can you talk to your mom about this? Clearly your mom needs someone to talk to about it, and you need her to respect your right to privacy. I compromised with my mom, I told her “you can tell this person, this person, and this person” but no one else- and she respected it.
We can’t control others and what they say about us. One of the risks we take in healing ourselves is to let others into our lives, including letting them see some of our skeletons.
Part of recovery is dealing with how others react to our behaviors. Your mom is responding the way she believes is best for her. Can you talk with her about this? Maybe you can actually help your mom deal with your self-injury better by talking with her and letting her know that she is not alone in this. Give her some better ways to cope with your issues, the issues about the daugher she loves so dearly and cares about and treasures.
I’m sorry that that happened to you.
I personally know what its like to have your personal life spewed infront of other people. I agree that it isnt right for someone to talk about something, that you cant even talk about yourself. It feels like someone read my diary when I hear that they talked about personal things like that,
Self harm is not something to gossip about…
or be spread around.
I know from experience how much of a violation it is.