i seem to be messed up for year! i have had to go to therapy for four years. i have had 3-5 different people. i could never get myself to tell them what was really going on with me. lets just say let me go because they thought i was doing good. but i wasn’t. everyday i live with this pain and fear that i can never get better. i feel like my life is over. i cry and i’m tried of it. lately all i’ve been thinking of it S.I. i cant stop the thoughts. i have a wonder daughter. shes the world to me. i think of her for a bit than its back. my pain, my past, everything. never stop. i have talked to people, wrote things down, and nothing. its like i have had to explain myself to so many people that its like nothing has ever happened. i put up a front to everybody so they never see how hurt i am inside. i’m not proud of what i do but its all i no. i say every thing’s fine and ok. but really i”m not. its hard to talk with people without putting up a front. everybody just thinks i’m fine and i have a great life. i don’t. i have had to tell lies my whole life so people don’t think anything is wrong and bad. i dont know how to get past that and voice my pain and tell myself that i will get better and i will overcome this thing i have. i need help and fast before i loss what i have.. what should i do?????????