where everything matters so little that anything that requires motivation would make you angry except anger also takes motivation. It is about at that point that I start to feel like my life is falling apart again. I want nothing more than to lay in my own silence and do nothing, but if I did that, my parents would question and I’d be found out. I remember my quiet days in school laying in my bed in my hoodie with my hood up and the room dark. There in my room, there isn’t much difference between dream and reality, which is nice. Dream is nice, usually. Some days, I wish that I could fall asleep and never wake up. One time, I nearly convinced myself to induce that. I guess now I am glad I didn’t, because life has gotten a little better, but at the same time it has gotten worst. The lows are lower than ever before, and more frequent. Without the support I have had this summer, and the ability to lay in my room doing nothing, I will probably bury myself in the worst depression I have ever had this coming school year. Watch out college; year two, here I come.