i ask you to try,
to try and understand
how i feel
how i think
why i acted the way i did.
who am i to kid?
who am i to believe that you,
perfect, holy and honest
could possibly even begin to understand
call me crazy, a freak,
straight f*cked up.
call me emotional, unstable,
weak and uncertain.
you may see me this way
you may justify my past with words
society has fabricated but
what you do not understand is all of the above
call me crazy for bringing you into this way of life, or death.
call me a freak for finding comfort and relief in self injury.
call me straight f*cked up for not wanting help.
i am emotional – you can see it on my skin.
i am unstable – i cannot decide between tools.
i am weak – i wound easily.
i am uncertain – i do not know if i need help, or am just trying to please you.
so i do not expect you to understand
why i keep the stale stained tissues,
or why i ______________________
i do, however, hope you understand that
i do not expect nor want you to understand.
because by knowing that you understand what i am going through,
means you are just as corrupted as me.
and i refuse to be responsible for allowing you to be in my situation.
so even though we say that
we are in this together,
i am still in this alone.
thank you, for any input you have to offer.