I’ve visited this site many times but never acted on seeking out help with this program.  I do S.I. and I have been on the fence as to whether or not to request an assessment.  Being numb to what I do helps me to escape and helps me to avoid or deflect responsibility.  It’s like if I do this program and learn how to be with my feelings and how to express them in a healthier way means that I have to acknowledge what I’m doing isn’t working.

 I don’t know.  It’s hard to explain.  I suppose I will know when I am really ready to let go of this negative way of coping but I am afraid that I will continue to push that away.  My job is really flexible and my employer understanding.  I have over 3 weeks of vacation accrued and I am thinking about seeing if I can get in the SAFE Intensive.  That I think will be the best for me so I can submerse myself to face the things I’ve been avoiding while in a safe environment and with the support of others struggling too.

 I called once to ask about admission and now I’m writing my first post so this is bringing me closer to getting the help I do need but still deny.  I don’t know why I’m afraid of letting go of S.I. as an option.  Maybe it’s a false sense of control. 

Anyway, thanks for having this blog here so I could post my thoughts.