i dont want you guys to think that i am complaining about my life because i know that there is alot more people who have worse lives then me. but i just wanted to give some background on my life :]Okay so i grew up in a small town technicly. It was always something new everyday. my brothers got expe;;ed for fighting, got in trouble with the police or whatever. but that was okay. it was funny what they did anyways. but in 2003 i lost someone i cared deeply about. my grandmother.  she would always call us and seee how we were doing. she always had us sleep oveer her house  the day before independence day. i even remeber house her house smelled. i miss her alot. i still cry over her even though her death was about 6 years ago. i tried so hard to let go of her and say she is in a better place but i never come to believe it.  well moveing on about two years after that my other grandma passed away.[2005] but i really dont know her. so how could i remeber her? then a year after my uncle mike died on his birthday. September 6th.[2006] but i never really knew him eaither. but i still cried. i wish i could remeber them so bad. i wish i spent more time with them. i wish they were still here. :[well after that everything got quiet. except for last year. i almost died. some person ran over my gas meter and decided to start it when the gas was going everywhere. one spark and my house  would be up in smoke. well me, my mom, my sister dena and sister amber also her boyfriend john were still in the house rushing to get out. so my brother got angry and took the guy by the throat and pulled him out. then the police came. i missed school and everything calmed down. buut 2008 became the worst year ever. back in january my brother had  three stroke and almost died. he is only 23 and he could have died in the hospital.  :/ he couldnt walk, barely could talk, couldnt move or anything and everytime i went to seen him he would cry.  i tried to limit me seeing him cuz i hated that. and the first night he called i broke down. i needed him home i couldnt loose him at all. then about a month later my aunt and grandpa went into the hospital. aunt with pnemonia and my grandpa had a heart attack. what else could go wrong heh? well a few months later i was diagnosed with clinical depression. and i am only 14! and after a few days i began to S.I. my friend believe it was her fault because she told me it didnt hurt because she was a S.I. too. but it wasnt. i began to S.I. and i began to hate myself because of everything going on. i was stressed and it was the only way to relieve it. but then she was suspended from school because the counsular found out and called the police.after about a week or two she came back with nothing but scars. which relieved me, she also had counsuling. then she began to help me.she made me happier then ecer. she made me believe everything would be okay. and it began to be okay. my aunt and grandpa came home alive. my brother also came home alive and able to move. he still has therapy but hey it helps him :Dalso its been about a week or two since i stopped S.I.my friend is rachel. she had the biggest impact on my life. she knew what i was going through and how it felt and she decided to help me. everytime i think about S.I. i listen to music or call her and i calm down. i am glad i met her or i wouldnt be here right now.i’m glad i get to hear your people’s stories because they also have an impact and you guys really can help me. even if i dont know you personalyand i thank you for thatfor all the future advice, for showing you caremuch <3Kaylee