I am SI frequintly and i am geting scared. I was at safe alternative in 2006 and that really helped. I did so well i stopped everything including smoking because it was a triger for me and SI. i kept safe for 6 months and recently about a month ago i started againe and i don’t understand why i feel that way. i was doing so well. i now have lots of friends from church and now i don’t even aprisieat them. its just so mean of me because i push them way from me and i don’t understand why i even do it. my friends are so nice and they are chriastians and they are very incuraging, and i am very thankful, but for some reason i don’t want anything to do with them, and i am scared from loosing them. i am still not smoking but like i said i am SI. my family and I are looking into going to a partial program in boston (Mclaine hospital) it’s one of the best, but the bad thing is that they don’t take insurance for this program and now we are faced with a big bill, but my family really cares about me and they are doing everything in their power to help me stop. they are paying for everything because i don’t work i just go to college. if any one can help me figure out how i am supposed to explain to my friends about me and how i am supposed to act as a good friend to them. thank you all. i don’t know you very well because i just started to post, but i ve been reading the post.