my mom is selfish and i can’t stand it. i no she loves me but i never seems like it. i feel like im going insane. I’m havign mental breakdowns durign class and mention of the words S.I. or sharps just makes me want so mad.  . i have to hold my breath just to get so peace. my mood swings have been getting worse this past week it used to be everyone other week i’d switch from happy-ish to major depression mental breakdown. now its everyday every hour. i want to get help get checked out anythign to make this stop but i cant without talking to my mom. she doesnt no about my S.I. and if she finds out she’d kill herself really. but she’s so selfish she goes out and comes home wasted half the time and i now when ever she goes out shes always with a friend getting high. she’s bipolar and i am used to things like this but its hard when i walk in on her about to do street drug right in front of me. its so unfair that when she feeling like crap she can just get high when i have to sit aroudn and deal or S.I. which helps at first but than i have to hide the scars from her which is a pain cuz summers coming and its not like me to wear long sleves.  my dad thinks im goign to turn out liek my mom cuz i wear gloves and write on my arm and im a “freak” i can deal with people at school btu my own dad thinkign im a failure as his child. i never asked to be born. a I didnt ask for this at all. i just dont feel liek thers a reason for me to be here…