So, I’m doing this because I want to tell people what I’m going through. Seeing how I don’t know any of you, it makes it that much easier for me to do so. That leads me to saying how I’ve had way too many “true friends” disappoint me in the past two years. I know how unhealthy it is to hold things in but I’m at the point of doing just that. I no longer trust anyone, not even God. The one person I should be trusting. Heck, I don’t even trust myself anymore. I feel as if I’m not worth keeping a secret, and as if I don’t have the potential to meet anyone’s standards. I’m a constant let down, I know it. It shows. Even when it comes to my parents- they don’t hold back. We fight too much. We yell and scream at each other. Everything is falling apart in my family, and it breaks my heart to even think that such a happy and loving family could turn into something so ugly. Yeah so anyways, I KNOW that I disappoint them and that I’m pretty much the biggest screw up in their eyes. I’m not gonna give you my life story in a couple paragraphs, but I’ve now fallen under the category of depression. I was SO good at hiding how I felt. That mask is worn out and fading now. I starve myself for days on end, or atleast until I’m literally being forced to eat. Being around food makes me feel sick to my stomach. Every time I feel my thighs rub together I get more and more disgusted with myself. I have an addiction like many of you have, which is injuring. I don’t go a day without injuring. It’s almost like a routine now, where if I don’t do it I feel guilty. I have to live with this. Everyday I sit in class staring at my wrists feeling more and more worthless. I feel stuck, and I want SO badly the strength I used to have. I hate hurting myself like this and I need the hope and faith that I once had back. I can’t do this on my own..