So many thoughts about injuring, anything with pain sounds good. People see my scars and automatically judge me and label me. People need to stop judging me though.. I am NOT a label and who the hell are they to care? Its my life not theirs.
Some days things just get so hard. I need a place where I can say how I feel with out others being stupid and immature. I also wish I had someone in my life to care enough about me to stop me.
Oh my gawd, just gah! My parents dont know about most things that go on in my life. I will be scarred for life because one of the teachers at my school keeps like looking at me with want in his eyes. It makes me want to be ugly. My best friend laughs about it, like its funny. (he’s the one who pointed it out to me…) I come from a past of rape so some old creepy teacher “checking” me out scares me. Only a selected few know about my assault, my parents dont even know. Im ashamed of it and I blame myself for some reason.
Maybe I deseve the life I have recieved. I dont know how to stop wanting to feel pain.